Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Charles Tells All






Meet Charles: the happiest guy around.  He's happy, high maintenance, hunky, and here to tell you all about his almost-10-month-old self.  Take it away, Charles.

Hey, guys.  Hi.  I'm looking at you right now and this is serious.  I'm thinking about you.  You're sitting there... reading this... I'm summing up the situation. You're probably awesome, but it's best to start off serious.  Okay, yeah.  Yeah, this is good!  Yeah!  I can't stop smiling!  Yes! I like you! It's official!  Let me tell you all about myself.

First things first, let's get one thing straight: food is meaningless.  Why people eat it is beyond me.  It's gross, it makes you gag no matter what, and I can't think of a single okay thing about it.  Milk is a different story. Milk is better than a million dollars.  I will never stop drinking it ever.  I will never not wake up 5 times in the night to drink it because I love it and no one can ever take it away from me.  That's all I have to say about that (actually, I could talk about it all day... I love it).

Music is pretty groovy, I have to say.  If you start humming, I'll start dancing.  Sometimes I even like to bop around when my mom is singing and trying to rock me to sleep -- she loves that.

If I see you fall down, there is nothing funnier.

Please come over to my house but, if you do, never leave.  That is really sad.  People should never leave.  I'm going to cry just thinking about it.

When I do cry, I really need my mom and I tend to say, "Mamamamamama."  I'm not sure why I say this.  It might be a coincidence or it might mean that I'm attempting to say something... I don't know myself well enough to know what I'm doing yet, so I'll get back to you on that.

My sister is really nice and I love her.  Sometimes she pushes me down or hits my head for no reason.  I cry a lot when that happens, my mom comes over and holds me, and then Alice and my mom talk a lot and Alice goes away for awhile and it gets busy around here.  But Alice is the coolest person I know.  When she's not around, it's not very fun.  It's kind of scary when she's not there to play with me.  Sometimes she takes my toys or tells me not to do things that I KNOW are okay to do.  She's the best, you guys.  She reads me stories and rubs my head and sings in my face.  When I'm bored she makes funny faces at me -- she's hilarious.  If I cry, she asks me what's wrong and hugs me really, really hard.  Sometimes her hugs make me fall down.  She really is the best.

I could go for some milk right now.

Sometimes I have something very specific in mind that I want... if you can't figure out what that is, I will be extremely angry.  You better figure it out.

However, if you take something from me that I shouldn't have, my heart will break. It won't make me angry, just the saddest baby ever.  How could you.

I think this about wraps up my life as an almost-10-month-old.  It's pretty confusing, but generally good.  If you'll excuse me, I need to go hang out.  ...but come with me... don't leave.  Come hang out with me.  Let's go.

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